News Commentator Wannabe Prints

'However, the jurors unanimously agreed that Blogojevich is the politician with the best hair!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Presenter Auditions.

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

Pundits

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

'Day is day and night is night. That's the opinion of the management of this station. Here with a rebuttal, is attorney...'

"And a final note: Perception officially become reality."

Cruz and Fiorina: DetesTED and DetestETTE

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Defunding the police vs defunding education

Panama Papers Scandal

'Please disregard the previous message about the imminent collapse of the global economy'

Today stocks fell gently like snow dropping on cedars...

The young Lisa Laflamme.

Child placing crayon drawing over TV screen

"The election is underway!"

'And now, an NBS News Special Investigative Report: Why doesn't President Obama get the respect and support he deserves?'

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Bill O'Reilly'

"This week on Sunday Hot Takes, the wage gap between men and women - is it really such a bad thing? Jill, you hate other women, start us off with something awful."

Presidential election-Joe Biden

Career center: 'I'm planning to replace Katie Couric when she retires!'

'And if you're not confused yet, you will be when this bloke has finished.'

'That's the end of the news - (B****RD MEN!!)'

Russiagate Explained