News Byte Aficionado Gifts

'Let's get these bite-size snacks to have with our bite-size news.'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

Oligarchy

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Meet the Enemy

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

Man Reading Laptop.

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Fear of news.

'...Next election voters will have a choice of democrat, republican and 'generic'.'

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

Capital Tours

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

Reporter #6: television.

'Hey!! What gives, there's nothing but a bunch of squiggly lines on this newspaper.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

The Russians Are Coming...Maybe

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

Hang in There Democracy!

"A newspaper has a responsibility to ensure that its readers are fully informed."