Newborn Photography Session Gifts

'Dad's always wanting to take pictures. it's so hard to smile with your mouth full.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

Doughboy Dad

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

Mythical Family of Four.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

Mime Baby

"It's a good boy!"

Baby on board 2020

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"Hurray! I just got born!"

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

Bouncing baby

Newborn bird sees tortoise and starts wearing shell.

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

Family Portrait Abuse.

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"No, they didn't live happily ever after, but they fared pretty well relative to every other miserable slop in the Dark Ages."

The inventor of the Slip 'n Slide becomes a father.

Maternity tattoos

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"