Newborn Night Whisperer Gifts

Dad cries as baby's crying keeps him from sleeping at night.

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"Same old same old. How about you?"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

Mother Nature

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"He's such a fussy eater."

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

'I'm not too sure about that.'

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"That is one absorbent nappy."

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

'So this is goodbye then!'