New Year's Jokes Fan Pillows

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

Try me/try me/try me...

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

'He's got your nose.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

'This way! We will grant you sanctuary!'

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

With all of the drone traffic, Santa had to replace Rudolph with Randolph the radar-nosed reindeer!

An Amazon drone crashes into Santa's sleigh

Full Serve/Elf Serve

'Didn't I warn you not to have the vindaloo?'

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

And then I said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." So he said "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." Of course, I had to say, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." It happens every year -0 the turkey never fails to put him to sleep!"

Santa Claus uses drones to deliver presents on Christmas.

'Dang it, Dasher, I told you to go before we left to North Pole!'

'You better watch out, you better not cry, we're here to abduct some earthlings that's why, aliens are coming to town.'

"Nice tree! Did you chew that one down yourself?"

"...Should nurses wages be forgot..."

"We love Santa, but Santa didn't know as much about investing as he thought he did."

'Your resume is quite impressive, but we're looking for self-starters.'

Ho! Ho! Ho! From North Pole.

"Happy Ea-sss-ter."

'Hunting doesn't make you naughty, it's natural: Santa knows that...'

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

Godzilla Auditions For Store Santa

Well, you did put it on your Christmas list!

"I honestly don't know why you didn't make Santa's sleigh team."

Turkey aimed at down a gun barrel.