New Year's Enthusiast Gifts

"What are you looking so bleeding optimistic about?"

"My goal is not to break as many new year's resolutions as last year. . . I'm not going to make any."

"What really grinds my gears is by this time next year, I'll look exactly like you."

'Happy New Year.'

"Give you a wakeup call for New Year's Eve? Ok, but you have to give me one, too."

"New Year's Resolutions: 1. Stop boiling tortured souls in vats of oil. 2. Stop frying the flesh of sinners in the fire of eternal damnation. 3. Lose weight."

Packaging Russian Dolls

Desert Island Statue of Liberty.

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island Ferry trip.

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

Lady Liberty: Give me your sick.

Best Sellers; Worst Sellers.

"The whole thing's much smaller than it seemed on TV."

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

Eskimo putting fake snow on his Christmas tree

A millipede hanging up his Christmas stockings.

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

'Put them there because we can't figure why they're successful!'

'Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today!'

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

"Short straw gets the ribbon and the diaper!"

The Chrysler Buildinger

2017 glass half full

"The occasion? Oh—that would be the fifth anniversary of our never having got married because of an earlier experience of yours that had nothing to do with me."

Tourists in New York – where are they from?

Are we nearly there yet?

"I was a best seller! I sold millions of copies! Now look at me, a glorified coaster."

See Manhattan . . . By Car!

"The new year will bring more of the same... only different."

'If you want to know what really happened, you'll have to buy my new book.'

Andrew Cuomo & Snake Plissken