New Year's Aficionado Mugs

Happy New Year 2012!

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

That one has all the batteries!

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"We won!"

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

"That's ridiculous. A red nose wouldn't work as a GPS system."

Jack in the Box

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

This year I thought I'd give up something different so I've given up writing Haiku poetry.

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

Bling Crosby.

"What really grinds my gears is by this time next year, I'll look exactly like you."

Eskimo putting fake snow on his Christmas tree

Christmas is fun...but as soon as the holidays are over I'm heading down to Florida for the sun.

Jeffrey N.: The Guy who managed to get the lead out of his pants, but they were still the wrong pants.

Elf and Safety: 'Have you got a seat belt on that thing?'

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

'Since when did they change 50 years from 'Golden Anniversary' to 'Remote Control Anniversary?''

"I crop-circle NY" t-shirt.

2017 glass half full

It's tough being a quarterback in a new year's eve game. All the receivers want to drop the ball.

"Short straw gets the ribbon and the diaper!"

Are we nearly there yet?

"Due to an incident at the Bergen Street station, everything has changed and nothing will ever be the same."

The Ancient Tea Ceremony of Astoria

"The new year will bring more of the same... only different."

"Clifford and I love New York, but all we seem to have for each other is mutual respect."

Tony 'Scareface' Montana's Wife.

"THIS YEAR I'M GOING TO GET IN SHAPE."

'His red nose turned out to be malignant...!!!'