New Voter Gifts

"I wouldn't miss this - a chance to fire Donald Trump."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

An informed voter is a good voter

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

Netanyahu versus Gantz

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

Honest Voting Stickers

'Can you fetch all of these but leave these others alone?'

Obama Yes We Can.

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

"I'll cross any ocean to fight for our country! I'll travel to the gates of hell to defend our rights!"

Witch reading book titled 'How to turn someone into a voter."

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

The Election Strategy

'I know I was just here yesterday, but the courts ordered a recount.'

"You mean to tell me I can only vote against one Congressman?"

Election Fatigue?

'When I'm old enough to vote, I'm going to select Santa Claus as a write-in candidate.'

"This election has me all mixed up. Yesterday, I caught a mouse and hugged it."

'It's late!...I can only hope late enough.'

'Which candidate do you think would lie to us least?'

"What I drink and what I tell the pollsters I drink are two different things."

On - Undecided - Off switch

'They expect us to vote cold sober?'

Elections

"A lot of voter's will be floating today."

Elections in Egypt.

'I was thinking about voting my conscience this time, but then I remembered that I didn't have one.'

'Our poll shows the typical voter is all polled out.'

"I'm not sure if I want to get disappointed by the left, the right, the conservatives, or the liberals."

"Oh, no, silly man - there's no such place as Hades...there is, however, a place where you spend the rest of eternity listening to politics."

"Oh, that's right next year is an election year..."

Vote! Wally Yomp, Congress: 'I promise to put the toilet seat down.'