First-time Voter Gifts

"Yeah? Well, my uninformed vote counts just as much as yours, mister-good-citizen-news-freak."

'Another 'undecided'.'

'They expect us to vote cold sober?'

Courting The Youth Vote

"Remember: if you don't vote...you've got no grounds to complain about who gets elected."

"I don't watch, read or listen to the news. The only things influencing my vote are Russian internet trolls."

"I'm not sure if I want to get disappointed by the left, the right, the conservatives, or the liberals."

"Fortunately, we live in a country where we have a choice."

"Oh, that's right next year is an election year..."

'The show-off even swaggers when he walks down the street to vote!'

Election Fatigue?

'Consider it karma for not voting for the past 38 years!'

'I was thinking about voting my conscience this time, but then I remembered that I didn't have one.'

'What's the number to ring to register my 'don't know' vote?'

Honest Voting Stickers

Polling Place

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

An informed voter is a good voter

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

Netanyahu versus Gantz

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

'Can you fetch all of these but leave these others alone?'

Obama Yes We Can.

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

"I'll cross any ocean to fight for our country! I'll travel to the gates of hell to defend our rights!"

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

The Election Strategy

'When I'm old enough to vote, I'm going to select Santa Claus as a write-in candidate.'

"This election has me all mixed up. Yesterday, I caught a mouse and hugged it."

'It's late!...I can only hope late enough.'

'Which candidate do you think would lie to us least?'

'Downwind from a herd of first time investors approaches the pinstriped investment banker, eager to make a kill.'

"What I drink and what I tell the pollsters I drink are two different things."