New Testament Buff Pillows

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

TSA Noah

'Luxury cruise you said!'

'Are we there yet?'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Caption Contest TK

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'Look man, no wings!'

Bible Bloopers

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Snake in the grass...

'Even More Disciples'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.