New Political Appointment Pillows

Who's nuts in politics?

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

The president's men

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

SAGE mentality

Under new blame.

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Rock and a Hard Place

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

"Rudy has asked me to apologize, on his behalf, for your being offended..."

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

Automatic Congressman

"What kind of politician would I be if I didn't politicize this crisis?"

"He's only been president a few months. Just give hima little time."

Half a house is better than none.

"Our rule of thumb is: 'Keep it complicated' - so no one will understand how we choose a candidate."

'Don't be nervous but I think we're about to go LIVE on the new system.'

"Some of it is soft and some of it is hard, but the main thing is that all of it is money."

'Taking bribes is understandable, Senator, but you really shouldn't keep billing records.'

The Election Strategy

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

Voting in the UK

"I always forget. Is this the day we spin ahead one hour?"

Obama: Problems causing instability.

'Why does everybody tell lies about me?'

'He's trying to fine-tune the economy again.'