New Parent Pride Pillows

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

City Zoo: Day Care

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

A young Don King

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Cry babies.

'I told you it would be useful.'

'Ahhh...'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

baby sweetcorn...

The Baby Walker

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Interior design trends for parents....

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Impressing dad.

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'