Parental Pride Pillows

"And these are the twins, Buzz and Buzz-off."

'That's MY boy-playing truant to visit his dear old dad!'

I got a hundred in school today... 50 in history, and 50 in maths!

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I can't help but get emotional...it's not every day your little one leaves the nest and heads off to the first day of school..."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

Children's artwork exhibition.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'Baby's first two-step.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

'She posted her first blog today.'

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"He looks just like your husband."

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'