New Parent Pranksters Gifts

Ask me about Naming Rights.

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

'Mom, will the baby come with bundled software?'

Husband and Child in Pram

Beware of teething baby.

They Removed my Brain.

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

'Sandra, I think the baby needs his oil changed.'

'Daddy! Are you using the number forty clipper?'

Twins

"Twins!...Who's the other father?"

'I don't believe it - At school all my teachers said I was an underachiever!'

'You did that on purpose!'

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

"We should get a lot of money from the tooth fairy. I set out grandpa's false teeth!"

'Last year my kids put a sign on my back, but tomorrow, on April Fools Day, I'll be ready, they won't get me again.'

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

"When do I get my phone call"

Yes, we have a 'Happy Meal'. It's when you leave the kids home.