New Military Posting Gifts

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

Welcome to the Team

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'You're off the plane, Hal. Put the laptop on your desk.'

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

Brighton Bersagliere.

Oh, the armor is state of the art

'I still say there are better ways to decide which positions to eliminate!'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

"Just remember, kid...whether you post on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube...it's all show biz."

'Don't be nervous but I think we're about to go LIVE on the new system.'

'...and this is the Mess.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

"I need to take a call. Argue amongst yourselves."

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

Banting in the Yeomanry

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

'I may scream at you occasionally. Pay no attention. I may rant and rave...pay no attention...I may even fire you occasionally. PAY ATTENTION!'

None O' Your Larks

Avoidance of Situation/Work required to succeed.

'Oh, I'm sorry Frank, it's just when you come home in that outfit, sometimes I lose control... so anyways, when's dinner?'

'You will be appointed principal of a school and you will resist change for your entire career,'

"I liked the one that saluted."

'Let me guess - You want to be a helicopter pilot?'

'It's quite an inspiring story. He started out in the mailroom and within two years had clawed his way to the very top!'

'Relax - everyone's a bit scared on their first raid.'

Work From Home Power Suit

"It's a great extra recruiting tool. Those who know they can't live up to that quickly disappear."

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

'We try to be completely fair with our employees and always treat them with respect, Grimes...I hate that name...change it.'

Christmas package.