New Job In Hospital T-Shirts

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

Welcome to the Team

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Dancing Doctor

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"All my symptoms are old ... "

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

Coronavirus Global Alert

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"This will be a tricky operation."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'