Working In A Hospital T-Shirts

"Exactly how long is it since anyone came in to see you?"

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Dancing Doctor

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

Virtual Doctor

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

Coronavirus Global Alert

"This will be a tricky operation."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'Your wife wants to know if she should get a new propane tank for the barbecue.'

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."