New Grandchild T-Shirts

"Oh, I almost forgot, how's your new grandson?"

Grandparents with their grandchild (colour).

'So that's where grandma's dentures got to.'

"She used to just be a mom, but when I was born she was promoted to grandma."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Young Frankenstein"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Skipping Horse

Computer Room.

At the Museum

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Football Fans

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Director/Action Man toy.

Wildlife

A young Don King

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'