New Entertainment System Gifts

Changing Times - TV.

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

A Guide to Balloon Animals

The Rooster Comedian.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

Television Readers.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Champagne

"And this is our media room."

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Cow Show Tunes

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

'There's nothing on.'

Cord cutter