New Dads Mugs

"Right now I'm a stay-at-home dad, but when this baby comes I'm going back to work."

"Geez. He's bald. No teeth. And craps in diapers."

'I have a craving for sour pickles again.'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

A young Don King

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

The Baby Walker

'I told you it would be useful.'

'Ahhh...'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

baby sweetcorn...

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

Interior design trends for parents....

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"They're so adorable at that age!"

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'