New Dad Cool Club Pillows

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Doughboy Dad

"That's mine!"

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Which one's mine?"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Which one's yours?"

"It's a dependent!"

Newborn Chaos

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

"Go ask your search engine."

'Which one's yours?'

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

Overprotective Father

The (literal) birth of Venus.

"So totally gross, yet, so totally cool Dad!"

Maternity Arrivals

"I've decided not tot become a father until later on in my fatherhood."