New Bathroom Renovation Gifts

'I'm impressed with your enthusiasm Tom, but I think that toilet fixtures as 'ideal Christmas gifts' may be a step too far.'

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'I found the termites!'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"You're welcome."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"I think I picked the wrong spot to plant that apple tree."

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'