New Aquarium Setup Gifts

Leak in the fish tank.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"I think it loves us."

'I wish I was creative'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Just water for me, please."

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'Twitter for goldfish.'

'So what have you been up to?'

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

Fish eating smaller fish in a tank.

'As I grow older and I reflect back on it, I'm kind of sorry we ate all the kids!'

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

"After we bought the aquarium, the pump, gravel, grass and heater, we couldn't afford any fish."

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

"We'll go out for a quiet candlelight dinner, slowdance on the beach to the music of Barry White, then make love in a warm, cozy bed!"

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

Pet Store: Clown Fish.

'Mother was right... You never take me anywhere!'

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'