New Allotment Owner T-Shirts

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

An old man growing berries

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

"What are you growing?"

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

Sheds

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

"This is the precise reason I didn't want bamboo flooring."

He was forced to take early retirement.

Middle Distance Runners

"Actually, these are more valuable than the golden ones now."

Man sweating profusely while shoveling snow in his boxer shorts

Hell's Allotment Holders.

Sign on shed reads 'Gone to seed.'

"My biggest problem is squatters."

Man halfway through growing a scarecrow

'You can always recognise a true gardener - out there before the weather actually gets nice enough for venturing into the garden.'

"I don't know what it is, we just look fabulous in Cranberry."

Decorative Evidence

"I heard they bought thousands of acres around here."

"You call this pigswill food?"

The Land Grab: Then and Now

Gardening Angel.