Getting A New Allotment T-Shirts

Sheds

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

An old man growing berries

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

'Not here, Fred.'

"What are you growing?"

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

He was forced to take early retirement.

"I understand they've bought a dairy farm."

Middle Distance Runners

Hell's Allotment Holders.

"Dear, I'd like you to meet the Holsteins."

"It's not a listing error. This really is a dream house because you have to imagine it."

Sign on shed reads 'Gone to seed.'

'You can always recognise a true gardener - out there before the weather actually gets nice enough for venturing into the garden.'

"My biggest problem is squatters."

Man halfway through growing a scarecrow

Let's save money on consultants, committeees and admin, and give it to the travel agents. Leave it with me and I'll run it past the think tank.

'I put your project on Wilson's desk. He has a knack for looking at tough jobs in a new angle.'

'Great. You found my septic tank.'

"Still trying to grow mushy peas,Alf?"

Birds laughing at a scarecrow.

Gardening Angel.

Madonna finally decided to settle down, buy a farm and raise a few eyebrows.

'Oh no! I'm losing the plot.'