New Age Experimenters Gifts

This Year's Spa

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

'New Age Dog Park' Dogs commune with Nature.

New Age Store.

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

'What'll I do with the nuclear wastes?'

An angry Scientist has discovered his two Lab' mice are using a GPS to find their way through a maze to some cheese.

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

'Okay I admit it - we probably do need a rocket scientist.'

"I'm putting you on country music."

Undercover Biophysicists

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

'I thoguht they only tested drugs on guinea pigs.'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Galileo's Attempt to discover is heavier dog falls faster than lighter dog.

'Louis Pasteur, after discovering that microbes transmitted disease, experimented with methods for killing them'

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

The Inner Dog.

Scientist to other: 'That's the saddest hypothesis I've ever heard!'