New Age Adventurer T-Shirts

"Colin's relaxation classes seem to have worked."

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

"My dear, may I suggest a little old-fashioned biofeedback, some acupuncture, and a dollop of nutrition counselling?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"Would you like some wings?"

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"One year closer to college!"

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

Kids with Fish Balloons

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

New Age Store.

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Mistaken baby ducks.

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

'I know he followed you home but you can't keep him.'

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"Show off."

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

Duel in a wheelchair.

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'