New Age Adventurer T-Shirts

"Colin's relaxation classes seem to have worked."

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

"My dear, may I suggest a little old-fashioned biofeedback, some acupuncture, and a dollop of nutrition counselling?"

Center for Reincarnation Studies. Welcome back.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"Would you like some wings?"

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"One year closer to college!"

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

October 11, 2009: History is made when 8-year-old Tommy Wurtner becomes the first child to enter space.

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

Kids with Fish Balloons

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

New Age Store.

"Do you have an appointment?"

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

'I know he followed you home but you can't keep him.'

Mistaken baby ducks.

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"Show off."

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."