Neutering Narrator T-Shirts

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'So this is goodbye then!'

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

"Should we keep the receipt in case of returns."

Gullib-Os

"I'll give you 15 minutes, no biting."

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

'Where my balls go?'

'What a gyp! Yesterday, after I got fixed, I put my testicles under my pillow, and all I got was a quarter!'

Young Pups In A Chat Room.

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

'Tell us about the time you met Charles Darwin, grandad.'

In an alternate universe, characters from the rough draft and finished manuscript of the same novel meet themselves at a cocktail party.

"I hope they read the fine print that the audiobook is to be voiced by Morgan Freeman."

#NoJunk

Leon Uris.

"Narrative play is dead."

"I'm the building inspector...that nest okay?"

"If you kids want to grow up to be writers, it's time we give you something to write about."

'Anorexia definitely isn't in this girl's vocabulary.'

God's Kitchen

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

"Your ecosystem is pretty well shot, have you considered giving up humans?"

"Support the head!"

"I'm not surprised that lady's so fat. . . The baby's been blowing her up for hours."

The Captain's a great storyteller. We call him "Narrative Hook"!

"She's had work."

'...when all at once I saw a bunch, a bunch of golden daffodils...no, it still doesn't sound right.'

'Man, look at these young guys! This 'wheel' thing is making them all soft. Next, they'll be using animals to pull themselves around!'

'Great draft. It just needs a little exfoliation.'

"You haven’t earned this."

'I'm all into recycling, but I won't miss mom's regurgitation thing one bit!'