Networking Newbie T-Shirts

'I know we only met 30 second again...'

"Flicker-Flash Johnson."

"My comfort zone is some distance away from the brink but close enough to see competitors go over it."

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

'Oh, Uncle Bill, this is Jason, he's boring too.'

Social Networking .

"I'm terrible with names, and even worse with faces."

"Back already? How was the networking thing?"

Good Luck!

WiFi Signals

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

And elevator with 'up', 'down', and 'pitches' buttons

'How do I get people to visit my...'

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

'You can social network me behind my ears if you like.'

Primordial Schmooze

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

"I see you had the foresight to like us on facebook."

'So, summing up: we 'like' you and you 'like' us.'

'look at my new business cards! The old ones weren't big enough for all my information.'

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

Media Darling.

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

'Ah, Mr. Collins? We are friends on Facebook, but I can't remember why.'

"He's networking again!"

"Remember - kindergarten is an excellent opportunity to make connections for first grade."

"Jessica tells me you have a Twitter following in the six figures."

Computer books for dummies.

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

Bubbie Selfies