Networking Novices T-Shirts

"It's not what you know, it's who you know." "Either way, I'm starting from scratch."

"I think it is who you know and I know you.''

Good Luck!

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

And elevator with 'up', 'down', and 'pitches' buttons

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

Primordial Schmooze

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"I see you had the foresight to like us on facebook."

'So, summing up: we 'like' you and you 'like' us.'

'look at my new business cards! The old ones weren't big enough for all my information.'

"What part of 'keep it bipartisan' didn’t you understand?"

Media Darling.

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."

'Ah, Mr. Collins? We are friends on Facebook, but I can't remember why.'

"He's networking again!"

"Jessica tells me you have a Twitter following in the six figures."

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

"Cupcakes for the judge? You're new here, aren't you?"

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

Absolutely No Credit

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

"I'll recommend your book if you recommend mine."

'Name tag's up here, Ma'am - I'm from the Cattlemen's Delegation.

'I'd join Twitter, but I'm worried I'll make a hash of it.'