Networking Events Enthusiast Pillows

'Them...? That's our multi-level marketing crowd...'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Networking

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

Trade Show Sherpas

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

"My Blackberry will get in touch with your Blackberry."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

Responsibility and duties

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

"Next meeting back to paper. Everyone missed doodle."

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

Conference Pears

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'I meet therefore I MANAGE.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'