Network Marketing Pillows

It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller. I have this friend who keeps passing up great opportunities. I have a side business of network marketing which is amazing! And I'm excited about sharing the opportunity of this business. How do I get him to seize control of his future and become financially independent by emailing me at despicable@spammer.com? I'm not sure what just happened, but I feel vaguely homicidal. My friend could have a bright future.

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'How fast can you hype?'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Apples for sale

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."