Nervous Tester T-Shirts

'I hate taking a test without an eraser.'

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

"Your IQ came back negative."

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'Yes, he's neurotic - It's a common condition with neurologists.'

'Special Delivery!'

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'Every time he lectures about serotonin, he puts me to sleep.'

'Tell me a little bit about yourself.'

'Not only do we have a great retirement program, our employees age more quickly.'

Noise machines for dogs.

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

"You did very well on your I.Q. test. You're a man of 49 with the intelligence of a man of 53."

'I could run some tests, but in my professional opinion you've got Salt Lake City on your mind.'

'I rushed right over from my third try at the bar exam as soon as I heard you were here.'

Blower wars.

'That's just for videos, Jeffrey -- book reports don't have to have FBI warnings.'

'You could work at any fortune 500 company... Why have you applied at our little shop?'

'It's to protect me from the splattering. Now open wide.'

'This 'chicken' stuff isn't bad -- it tastes like dinosaur!'

Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head? I'm glad you (huff) asked. Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death. So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills. Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill? They walk. ... Walk.

'Don't let it bother you - heck, some people think I'm nuts!'

"I knew it. I just KNEW it. How long have I had this condition, doctor? Is there a cure? Oh, God, it just had to be disease, didn't it..." Cathy finds out that she has hypochondria.

Idlewild.

"How did the acupuncture session go, Sebastian?"

Ditching Masks as Lockdown Eases

Foot in ice cube.

'What if I want to stop? Where's the pause button?'

"If you hear me scream . . . Dear God, Jesus Christ, what are you doing, then I want you to apply your foot to the brake!"

"Emergency stop! I'll tick that."

It was an unlikely relationship from the beginning and doomed to failure once the novelty wore off."

'The sun... hung bel... belligerently... over the... dust... dusty town...'