Nervous Nelly Sympathizer Pillows

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Worry tank

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

No Immediate Danger

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

Nervous Student

"Ted doesn't test well."

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

"It's a simple procedure. You'll be fine – as long as no one gets sloppy."

"I don't interview well."

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

Floating Dragon

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

"I say this as a friend, Tom...we always know when you're bluffing!"

Interview anxiety

"Is this your first job interview, sir?"

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

'You and your aversion to needles!'

"I've been evicted."

"You ought to do what I do—have a few belts before you meet with the old man."

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

'You could work at any fortune 500 company... Why have you applied at our little shop?'

"Being unable to clearly articulate responses to questions, is a common interview mistake. . ."