Nervous Nellies Pillows

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

Worry tank

"Ahh! You must be little David's father."

Teacher to student with spots: 'Tests make you nervous and break out in what?'

"I don't interview well."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

No Immediate Danger

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

Nervous Student

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"Ted doesn't test well."

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

"It's a simple procedure. You'll be fine – as long as no one gets sloppy."

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

The Return of Guarded Optimism

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

Interview anxiety

"I say this as a friend, Tom...we always know when you're bluffing!"

"Is this your first job interview, sir?"

"I just remembered... I forgot to turn off the sink."

"You ought to do what I do—have a few belts before you meet with the old man."

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

Product Recall (aeroplane)

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

"Miss, I'm familiar with the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign, but what's with the 'Check Engine' light?"

'How can I stop biting my nails?' - 'Always wear shoes.'

"Being unable to clearly articulate responses to questions, is a common interview mistake. . ."

'You could work at any fortune 500 company... Why have you applied at our little shop?'