Nervous Nelly Of Poker Pillows

"I say this as a friend, Tom...we always know when you're bluffing!"

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Worry tank

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

No Immediate Danger

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

Nervous Student

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"Ted doesn't test well."

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

"It's a simple procedure. You'll be fine – as long as no one gets sloppy."

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

"I don't interview well."

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

'Half-crazed with nerves Petey Otterloop awaits the start of the winter concert.'

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

Interview anxiety

"Is this your first job interview, sir?"

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

'Unfortunately, medical science hasn't come up with a cure for 'stock market jitters.'

"Tough group."

'I'm fully organized. Now I can freak out in some kind of order!'

"You ought to do what I do—have a few belts before you meet with the old man."

"If he has a tell, I haven't found it."

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

"Being unable to clearly articulate responses to questions, is a common interview mistake. . ."

'How can I stop biting my nails?' - 'Always wear shoes.'

"Everyone has to start somewhere."