Nervous Nelly Sympathizer T-Shirts

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Worry tank

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

No Immediate Danger

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

Nervous Student

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"Ted doesn't test well."

Light RELIEF for England . . . PHEW!

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

"It's a simple procedure. You'll be fine – as long as no one gets sloppy."

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

"I don't interview well."

Floating Dragon

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

"You ought to do what I do—have a few belts before you meet with the old man."

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

"I've been evicted."

'You and your aversion to needles!'

"I say this as a friend, Tom...we always know when you're bluffing!"

Interview anxiety

"Is this your first job interview, sir?"

Gerald sensed that more than just his reputation was riding on the success of the presentation.

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

'How can I stop biting my nails?' - 'Always wear shoes.'