Neighborly Relations Expert Gifts

Room 102

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

Cat and Broom

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

"What?" "I SAID TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!"

'This place looks welcoming enough,Alf!'

This is Bad Feng Shui!

'Miaow??'

'Keep yapping: The neighbour is red in the face and ready to explode...'

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

"See that yard with the garden gnomes and the idiot waxing his Nissan Cube? That's your bathroom."

Blower wars.

"There exists within each of us the infinite potential to become the neighbor from hell."

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

'That's all I can say - I've already told you twice as much as I know!'

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

'I know I never play it. I only borrow it from next door to stop him playing the damn thing!'

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

"Rex, stop your barking, we're getting dirty looks from the neighbours! Yep, you've woken up the baby!"

'I'm baking. Can I borrow 2 eggs... some bacon and a couple slices of bread?'

'Um...excuse me, could we please have our ball back?'

Picking overhanging fruit.

"Yes, of course you can borrow Gerald's lawnmower, but only if you take him too."

"Enough of this. Just suck it up and borrow the neighbor’s laptop charger."

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

'Let's just see how long they can stay crouched behind the sofa.'

'Apparently, Phillips, you want a lawsuit on your hands!'

'This is my primary place of doing business, although I do sometimes do it on my neighbor's lawn.'

If his animals should stray - let him know by all means...but don't be vindictive.

'He only plays them once a day. At 4 in the morning.'

"Those conifers next door planted are a godsend."