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Fish cold war

"We left the veldt when the hippos moved in, they were dragging the area down."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

A child as a pet substitute.

'Shortly you will be running for your life. I wouldn't order dessert.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

"'Autonomy' is the new BUZZ word! We have to unleash our staff. Professionals like you need to be free to use your own judgement, manage your own workloads...use your initiative."

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

"We need to have a serious talk."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

"Think about it: Toby's the only ram here, so we have to be half brothers!"

Bears: 'Mummy, mummy can I sleep over at Jessica's this winter.'

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

'It's good, Timmy, but it's not refrigerator good.'

"Dad, here's that update on my childhood you requested."

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

"Daddy can't help you, son. Daddy's a product of the 'me' generation."

"This cat has got to go on a diet...he weighs 78 pounds!"

'I love all of your brothers and sisters, but you're my favorite.'

Mom's Mortuary

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

'Must you find fault every time she brings a boyfriend home?'

Cubicles, Execs And Employees Growing More Similar To Bees