Neighbor With A Funny Dog Story Pillows

'Katherine, why can't he eat like the other dogs?'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

"He ran out of pee."

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

'He's training for a career in law.'

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

'Some watchdog you turned out to be!'

"When you adopt a dog from a rescue centre you never know what bad habits they might have."

'Want to have a snowball fight?'

Pavlov's neighbor gets a wind chime.

"Don't worry about him. It's all a bluff."

Bloke trimming hedge to look like neighbour/wife.

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

Don't even think about it!

'So what's all this I hear about you installing an interesting water feature in your garden?'

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

Gathering to Gossip at Recycling Point

"You want twenty bones delivered? Are you sure Mr Jones? You usually order two bones a week."

Mower Fraud!

'The neighbors don't care how you commute, but they're beginning to complain about the noise.'

"There's suburbia for you: halfway there, then everything grinds to a halt."

"Next time make two trips."

"Disgusting-all they grow in their garden is HAIR!"

There are some bad neighbors in the building where I live. One creep was kicked out for inappropriate actions. I call him "The Flash." "Catwoman" violates the no-pets policy. "Aquaman" hogs all the hot water. And the "Green Hulk" is a huge guy who berates people when they don't separate recyclables from other trash. On the plus side, when anything breaks here, it is quick fixed. Ah, "Superman"!

"How come you never hang out by the fence anymore?"

'My dog's classically trained.'