Negative Ninny Mugs

"I can't think of anything I have no problem with."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Worry tank

No Immediate Danger

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Nervous Student

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"Ted doesn't test well."

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

"I don't interview well."

"It's a simple procedure. You'll be fine – as long as no one gets sloppy."

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

Brain and heart sweep away the negative

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

'Life's too short to hold grudges.' 'No it's not! You just need to organize your time better.'

"You ought to do what I do—have a few belts before you meet with the old man."

"Sorry if I'm negative, but I'm operating on a need to no basis."

Interview anxiety

"Is this your first job interview, sir?"

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

"I say this as a friend, Tom...we always know when you're bluffing!"

'You and your aversion to needles!'

"I'm going to make eye contact only with this side because of the crick in my neck."

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

God is dead.

'You had to get shots? I couldn't stand that. I hate needles!'

'Uh, Molly...Who's your little friend?'

'How can I stop biting my nails?' - 'Always wear shoes.'