Needle Novice Pillows

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

Needle work for beginners.

"It's a beginner's sewing kit I put together for you. There's scissors, needles, bandaids, gauze, antiseptic. . ."

'I've been knitting since I was ten. . . and never learnt how? To cast off?'

Today we learned to count to one.

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

I love embroidery

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

Acupuncture clinic

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

"Triple whammy."

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

'Maybe we could put our knitting down until the examination is over.'

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

Acupressure Gauge

Pandemic Orphans

'Don't tell anybody, I'm expecting a doll.'

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

Carole Jean's First "Big Girl" Heels

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

'Exactly which school of acupuncture are you from?'

"How may I hurt you?"

Acupunture Clinic opens next to a Ballon Animal shop.

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."

'You just continue to grow.'

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupunture needles should go?"

'See what happens when you bite your nails.'

"Of course he's not our son. You wanted me to change the baby, didn't you?"

CLINIC, 'Are you worried about passing your blood test?', 'Heck, no -- anybody can BLEED.'