Needle Enthusiasts T-Shirts

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

I love embroidery

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

'Sorry, I can't come: Young Master has joined the scouts and tied me up with a fancy knot I can't work out...'

The latest craze in party games: needlepoint charades.

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

Acupuncture clinic

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

'Maybe we could put our knitting down until the examination is over.'

"I didn't even know they could knit!"

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

'It all started when she started playing with the ball of yarn.'

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

'How long have you been out of work? I've never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

'Don't tell anybody, I'm expecting a doll.'

"I said I wanted to go to Stacey's Nail Bar."

'He fainted when he saw the needle.'

Acupunture Clinic opens next to a Ballon Animal shop.

"How may I hurt you?"

"Pedicure is booming, but manicure is dead."

"Nana" Technology

Be polite to your acupuncturist at all times. A basic life lesson hard learned.

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupunture needles should go?"

'I think your 10 o' clock appointment's arrived.'

Acupuncture darts.

'We will need a standard resume in addition to this beautiful needlepoint recommendation from your mother.'

'And a couple more should relieve your back-pain Sir...'

Porcupine Acupuncture

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Dear Sadie, I'm twelve years old and I still can't make a half-court shot in basketball. What should I do? - Moe. Moe, I know you want a quick fix, but there's no substitute for hard work. Master the half-court shot the way I mastered needle-point, practice five hours a day for seventy-five years … while giving your competitors backhanded compliments. With diligence, you'll eventually outlive anyone who knows your failings … which means they never

Man and woman knitting together.

Husband - 'Honey, the Vandamyer's are here!' Wife - 'I'll be down in a minute dear! I'm just polishing my nails.' (Woman polishing metal nails).