Navigating School Rules Pillows

"Cruz, you can't use your phone in class."

"We thought this was more realistic."

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

'This isn't a good time. I'm in trouble with the Dean for using my cell phone in class. I'll call you back.'

'Getting my children to get out of bed and go to school was hard - So I bought a cattle-prod...'

'What did I learn in school today? You can't chew gum in class even if you brought a pack for the teacher.'

"I'm going to the school board meeting."

'I didn't write the report. I printed it directly from the Internet, but I did all of the stapling and collating myself.'

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'

'They sent me home from school because my lunchbox has a picture of a soldier on it.'

'Of course, like everything for kids, some assembly is required.'

"I won it for being lice-free."

"We have all kinds of Regulatory Guidelines floating around."

'We could have a problem here lads.'

'You have to stay after school because you got caught in the hall without a pass? But you're homeschooled!'

"You're not allowed to plead 'no contest'."

'Now, the school playground rules are: No fighting, no pushing, and, most importantly, no biting!'

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'..."

"Public opinion appears split between those who support the public school system and those who can afford private schools."

Giggling during the debate didn't cost you the election. The mile coming out of your nose cost you the election.

'I know you were elected class president...'

'How's the school board meeting going?'

'Your first tie-breaking vote?'

'I didn't run for class president because I was unsure if your credit rating could stand the scrutiny.'

'...And that should cover all my rules for the class.'

"I can't believe that in a few short years we're actually going to like them."

"That top is so... interesting." "I love that you don’t care how your hair looks!"

"Oh, I know full well he remembers the school rules! He just chooses to ignore them!"

Principal to teacher: 'You've got to get a handle on the screaming and running down the hall. I don't care how afraid you are of your students.'

'We had a contested election for student council and decided to settle it right away.'

'Is it just me or are the school hall monitors becoming increasingly militarized?'

"For the last time, I'm the Principal not the Warden."

'Principal McWit, I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized last month. Just tell me how many students passed their standardized tests?'