Navigating Fatherhood Pillows

'Why can't you try to be more like me?'

'My dad's more absent than your dad...'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"WHich one is mine?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Food deliverer's baby.

"That's mine!"

Growth Charts

A baby playing on a grand piano

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

Dad Trophies

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

My daddy ate my homework

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'