Naval History Buffs Gifts

Exempli Gratia.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Telescope Stand.

Remote control pirate bully

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

Lost around a military base.

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

'Hardy I see no chips!'

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

COWMIKAZES

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"Destroyers"

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

'Silent type, eh?'

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

On board the MS Hepatology

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

Battleship Bingo Night.

'We should talk more.'

F&E Submarine Contractors. When we ask the government for assistance, we should avoid calling it a "bailout."

Jolly Sailor - Warning: May contain old salts.

Celebrate National Submarine Day.

A grave with an anchor and periscope

"Looks like a storm ahead, Captain." "I think you're being over dramatic."