Nautical Nut Gifts

'You're going to need a bigger net.'

'In true pirate tradition all of our sails are made entirely from stolen hotel towels.'

'Bon fromage!'

"Your insurance doesn't cover carpentry."

"He's about your size. Peg-leg. Seen him?"

Old sail ship at quay, only mast showing. 'Either the tide's out or that leak's worse'

Rats in a lifeboat.

"I don't know. I guess you mount it on the back of your car."

'It's going down! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! Wait a minute... How silly of me... We've got lifeboats!'

"Good news, your yacht club membership has arrived!"

A man holds a model ship and a toilet plunger

'If ever you need a shoulder...'

Naval Training; Thug Boat

"Keep going Hank, you almost have it."

"I suppose you think this will keep me home this summer."

"Attention... attention... the winner of tonight's lucky oar prize is..."

'Gee, why didn't I think of that?'

Car towing boat driving over bridge. Boat towing car riding under bridge.

The grim reaper racing a lifeboat to reach a drowning man

Bottle Opener.

'I just don't get it - the big fellows spend ages settling into their seats, then the little fellow at the ends shouts at them and they row off backwards!'

"Ahoy!"

'Sorry, Captain... The parrots were sold out!'

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

Divers drinking under water.

"For a hundred fish I'll fly a message to the mainland"

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

'Their love was impossible...But even more impossible to ignore.'

'When I said 'sit', I meant in the boat.'

"An underwater lighthouse. Seriously? How is that going to help?"

It's worse than we thought.

"Cap'n crunches"

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'