Naturopath Pillows

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Natural Medicines

Vending Machine in Alternative Medicine Clinic

"Because when it actually works they just call it medicine."

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

"I think I need a prescription, Doctor. Those herbal remedies have gotten so expensive I can't afford them!"

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

'I'm taking you off the herbal tea.'

Man exiting store: 'Since I've been taking the bee pollen, I've been stopping to smell the roses more often.'

"Wow! I've never seen so many get-well plants!"

"I'm hoping for herb immunity."

"It's toxic but it's all natural toxic."

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

Natural Medicine

"Please escort Miss Delgado to the private waiting room. She's curing my patients again."

Alternative medicine

Traditional and Alternative Medicine

"I'm not feeling well. Do you know where I can nibble on Echinacea?"

It appears to be a side effect of the herbal shampoo you're using.

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

'There you are, Mr. Van Winkle. That Ginkgo Biloba should improve your memory and keep you from dozing off.'

"Penicillin? I'm sorry – I don't practice alternative medicine."

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

Vampire Day Job - Hypnotherapist

'We can try to fit it with an artificial limb.'

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

"I'm not feeling well. I'm picking up a few things at my pharmacy."

"No, I'm not asleep, but my foot is."

Alternative Medicine.