Nature's Whisperer T-Shirts

'Stop yelling, Frank, you'll scare the birds away!'

Ornithologist

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

The Busy Gardener

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Plant Lady

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

An Unexpected Guest.

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Botany Baby!

Award Winning Gardener

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

An old man growing berries

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'Now it fits.'