Nature's Humorist Pillows

"Look away dear, there's that dreadful 'Phallus impudicus'"

'I don't have the heart to tell him we bought the farm and coming to take the signs down.'

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

Ice Age.

'Our newest board member wants a ban on animal testing except for rodents.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Deer Season Open.

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Try me/try me/try me...

"Get out of my face!"

I told you we were late!

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Happy birthday Dung Beetle

'Pray for me.'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

"Did you just do a rooster?"

Penguin

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

Slug Bait- snails love it

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"